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Me: "Whatever."

She straightens my hat and shirt. I fix it back...

Mahal: "How's your new girlfriend?"

Me: "I don't have a girlfriend. What about your boyfriend?"

Mahal: "I don't have a boyfriend."

We just kind of stare at each other. God, I wish I would have met her before she got that STD. I can't even hit that shit once (and to all you dumb motherfuckers, NEVER fuck a girl with an STD. I don't care how much you love her. NO woman is worth having to carry that shit around for the rest of your life.). That's life, I guess.

4 Kegs with Big Misha. I catch a girl looking at me, while some guy is trying to talk to her and her friend. Our eyes lock. I nod my head slightly to the side, and lip sync for her to come here...

Me: "You can go back over to your guy friend if you want."

Cornfed: "I'm not with him."

We talk about summer...

Cornfed: "I'll be staying all summer long."

Me: "Then we need to chill. I don't call girls, but I'll give you my number."

Cornfed: "I don't think you gave me the right one! I'm going to call it right now and see!"

I reach into my pocket, and place my phone on vibrate. She calls. It rings, and rings, and rings. She looks at me...

Cornfed: "Did you really just give me the wrong number!?"

Cornfed: "..."

Me: "Look at your face! I got you!"

She starts laughing. She's a smaller girl, so I know how to fuck with her...

Me: "I'm going to put your name in my phone as Cornfed."

She starts laughing. I show her my phone...

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