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I think the “nizee” on the other hand seeks validation in the charming rogue who prowls the room. The “nizee” wants nothing more than to be chosen. She/he will act as though they do not notice the “nizer” and act completely surprised when he flashes his vulpine grin at her, while the whole time wanting it more than anything else. Inside they say, “I am the prettiest/handsomest in the room? I finally have proof to contradict how I actually feel about myself.” And I think the “nizer” has a similar reaction, “They all like me! Me! They see me, they notice me! Just me!” For both, a toxic blend of narcism and insecurity. But these dynamics are predicated on the “nizer” putting his/her emotional needs above anyone else’s. The need for the “Me” to be seen and validated trumps any sense of empathy or awareness of other people’s needs. To “nize” someone, one must first identify what the “nizee” wants, then allude to the possibility that it can be provided; this is all done very subtly. it’s like keeping a feather balanced on a stream of air, too hard in one direction or too soft in another and the feather falls to the floor, the “nizer” is a pro at keeping the feather (hope) aloft. We can all be glib and cavalier about this, but it’s sociopathic and predatory. That a person will put there own insatiable need for validation above acting compassionately towards their fellow human reserves them a cold and lonely seat on the outskirts of the human community. And ultimately that is where they end up, because they are too scared to reveal to anyone (including themselves) their true self. The “nizee” deserves some of this contempt as well, because the wolves wouldn’t eat if their were no sheep. We all want to get laid, which is fine, but be upfront about it, don’t play with peoples’ hopes and aspirations.