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Men can't deal with frantic women energy for sure, so I have learned to be relaxed and open and curious about where they are at around stuff—-and accepting of what they say. So when I call, I say "is this a good time for you?", if 'no', then I ask when would be a good time. I don't use the 'talk' word either. "I want/need to "TALK" to you….." That alone sends them running for the hills. Men seem to get very scared of the idea of 'talking'. So I just do it…….call and say, "am I catching you at a good 01:14:09" and have a relaxed conversation about whatever I want to talk about. I do usuall ease into it as well. Start a light banter, how are you, what you doing, etc., then ask the deeper questions I am curious about. Amazing how it works, and how it doesn't work when I am NEEDING to talk, right now! : )